


Pyjak Hijinks

by Greeneye



Series: Our Love is Madness [2]
Category: Mass Effect: Andromeda
Genre: Drack would kill for 10 credits and a protein bar, Established Relationship, Fake marriage proposal, Fluff and Crack, Liam can't keep a damn secret, M/M, Pets, Pranks, Scott is gross, Vetra playing C-Sec, cockblock
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-21
Updated: 2017-04-21
Packaged: 2018-10-22 01:40:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,465
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10687149
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Greeneye/pseuds/Greeneye
Summary: After making up with Scott, Reyes might have decided that sneaking onto the Tempest to spend a month with Scott was a brilliant idea. He might have also executed his plan without telling his boyfriend despite playing the role of sneaky delivery man, sending an anonymous email telling him a parcel from the Charlatan had been sent to his cabin, where the pathfinder found a pair of washed jockstraps and his boyfriend sitting on his chair feeding the space hamster.He became the extra squadmate, the occasional Nomad Driver, the best cook, the resourceful new buddy everyone loves, the boytoy and also, the caretaker of Scott’s pets.But then, something strange happened.





	Pyjak Hijinks

**Author's Note:**

  * For [KadaraKings](https://archiveofourown.org/users/KadaraKings/gifts).



> Today is KadaraKings's birthday, so I wrote a prompt he wanted to read as a gift, hope you like it mate!  
> Mr. Scribbles is actually how KK named his pyjak, this adorable nerd loves it so much he wants a pic for it.
> 
> Beta done by the birthday kid himself lol
> 
> And there's marvellous art from [**pickart-master**](http://pickart-master.tumblr.com/)  
> [](html-image-hyperlink.php)

“Hey, little one. What’s up?”

Reyes put away the datapad he’s been holding. The pyjak Scott owns squealed and jumped onto his lap immediately. It stood on it’s back legs; paws on his chest, long tail curled around Reyes’s arms, happily sniffing his neck with a pointed, slightly wet nose.

“Should I be jealous?” Reyes turned his head to the teasing tone. His pathfinder was approaching while he drying his hair with a large towel. Pale skin turned humid, soft and slightly pink after a hot shower; it’s lovely, especially since the aforementioned pathfinder was clad in a small white towel only. Scott pats his pyjak while dropping a kiss on Reyes’s head.

“How cruel of you to make me choose between you two.” The Charlatan put an arm around his waist, lifting his head to leave a peck on the flushed cheek. He carefully brushed away the pyjak on lap, “Sorry little one, I would have to be a dead man to resist your master especially when he smells so nice.” He smiled apologetically to the pet, but it seems the pyjak is not buying it. It whines and tries to bite his fingertip but with its small sharp teeth; the bite turns out to be more of a nibble.

Both men laughed, but soon the pet was on the floor soon forgotten when Scott fell onto the bed with his towel pulled off. 

Looking back at this moment, Reyes is sure that was when the shitstorm started.

After making up with Scott, Reyes might have decided that sneaking onto the Tempest to spend a month with Scott was a brilliant idea. He might have also executed his plan without telling his boyfriend despite playing the role of sneaky delivery man, sending an anonymous email telling him a parcel from the Charlatan had been sent to his cabin, where the pathfinder found a pair of washed jockstraps and his boyfriend sitting on his chair feeding the space hamster. He will never forget how many times Scott’s facial expressions changed within one minute. 

He became the extra squadmate, the occasional Nomad Driver (because Scott sucks at driving his whole crew agreed), the best cook, the resourceful new buddy everyone loves, the boytoy and also, the caretaker of Scott’s pets. 

He’s pretty sure the hamster likes him, but the pyjak is totally smitten. In rough calculation he might had spent more time with his “little one” more than his boyfriend. Reyes had never owned a pet, not that he didn’t want to, he just didn’t think of it. However, a week after they became inseparable, and his right shoulder was officially the new home of the little space monkey.

But any stories will not be half interesting without conflicts and mysteries, same as theirs.  
It started when Reyes woke up with his face drawn - Messy black circles around his eyes, and whiskers on both cheeks. He didn’t realize it until he woke his boyfriend up with kisses and once those blue eyes landed on him, Scott laughed so loud Reyes was pretty sure everyone on Tempest heard him.

He spent more than half an hour rubbing his face raw, meanwhile he kept thinking... Who could have sneaked into Scott’s cabin and carried out this prank without waking him? Maybe he’s getting more comfortable around the crew, but if someone got near when he’s sleeping he would have known. Except for one person.

“Was it you?” he asked Scott during breakfast, “the one who drew on my face?”

“If that was me, i would have drawn a blossoming flower around your belly button; maybe painted your cock with Tempest’s colors too?” He answered over his coffee mug cooly.

“I thought I was the grossest person on this ship, but obviously you just stole my crown without breaking a sweat. I think Congratulations is in order, Ryder.” As if to show her ‘discontentment’, Peebee playfully threw a half-bitten protein bar at him, which landed on Scott’s nose. But to her surprise, Scott just picked up the protein bar and started eating. 

“Don’t judge, guys. It’s wrong to waste food with our resources as limited as they are.” he impersonated Addison’s voice but no one actually paid him any attention other than Reyes himself.

\-----

That prank was one Reyes could get over with a good laugh, but not the next one. In an evening, Reyes found that his father’s antique wrist watch he brought with him from the Milky Way was stolen. Yes, it must be stolen because he’s sure he took off the watch and put it on the desk before he went to shower. And now it’s gone. He tried to stay cool but Scott was agitated once he knew the watch’s history. They searched everywhere in the cabin but found nothing.

“It must have been dropped somewhere,” Scott laid down on the bed, looking exhausted, “My crew members would do no such thing.”

“Actually, I suspected no one but you.” he chuckled weakly, “You know, taking your boyfriend’s father watch to subtly hint you want to marry him is unlikely, but possible.”

“If I wanted to propose, I wouldn’t need to spend hours playing ‘lost and found’ with you. I would just ask Jaal to write a play for family drama with you playing my husband, Liam as my brother-in-law and Drack as our baby son. At the last part I would ask Kallo and Suvi to pull an air show writing “MARRY ME! REYES!” with bright pink smoke in the sky.” 

“That’s very dreamy, romantic even,” he can’t help but commented dryly, “And also... subtle in your own way. I’m looking forward to it.”

Scott slaps his abs with a laugh, “It’s great, isn’t it? Now, be a good dutiful hubby and get me a cup of water, I’m thirsty.”

That’s where he found his watch, in Scott’s “Booo! The worst pathfinder ever!” mug.

The morning after the incident, Reyes found the pyjak was locked in a little cage with Vetra as its “prison officer”.

“Poor thing, what had it done to deserve it?” Reyes pats his head with two fingers, the pyjak grabbed them with paws. It nibbled his fingers and soon started gibbering as if Reyes could understand what it’s saying.

“It’s been grounded, the reason is classified.” 

If she had eyebrows, they must have to the hairline when she answered his question. He’s confident in reading people but he could only understand why she reacted this way some time later. 

“Playing C-Sec huh?”  
“I can’t believe you just pulled that old, tasteless Turian joke on me,” Vetra smirks, “but yes, I’m kinda playing C-Sec now thanks to Ryder.”

“Wait for me, I will come back and save you, little one.” Reyes whispered to the space monkey. The silver pyjak squealed and slapped Reyes’s mouth with its paw.

“I’m not deaf, Vidal.” Vetra paused, “You know, every decision has its consequences, make your choice sensibly. And don’t say that i didn’t warn you, my friend. But after proper consideration, if you still want to play prison break with our little pyjak here, be my guest, the key is on my desk.”

in the afternoon, the little one was standing on his right shoulder again, accompanying him reading reports sent by Keema.

Blessings never come in pairs, and trouble never comes alone, so that may explain why Reyes didn’t expect the third, ultimate prank coming.

It started with Scott’s screaming in the morning, alarming all the people in Tempest without a doubt. To be honest Reyes is happy with SAM locked their door right after Scott’s scream, otherwise everybody will see what’s happened to him.

“I’m sorry to call for an urgent meeting this sudden, but something happened this morning and I thought it’s my duty to inform every crew members what’s it about.”

“Scott, is it necessary for Mr. Hamsy and the Little One sit for this meeting too?” Reyes asked.  
“They probably should.” Scott answered grimly.

This is adorably ridiculous. Reyes looked around and expected someone to burst out laughing or at least try to hold it in, but no. Even Liam and Peebee looked serious.

“What is it you want to tell us, Scott?”  
“This morning,” The pathfinder took a deep breath, “someone smeared dead insects mixed with honey all over Reyes’ crotch. This is unacceptable because: One, it’s super gross. Two, He’s my boyfriend no one can touch him there except me and three, i hate insects -”  
“Ewww, that’s brutal!” Liam sympathetically squeezing Reyes’s shoulder, “I hope you don’t sleep naked, man -”  
“Unfortunately, he always sleeps naked.” Scott dutifully clarified.  
There’s a short silence before everybody groaned.

“Are you shitting me, Ryder?” Liam exclaimed with both hands grabbing his hair, “Shit! now I can’t get this image out of my head. Why, Ryder, why would you tell us such thing?”  
“If you need any medical consultation or further checking, please feel free to approach me, Mr. Vidal.” Lexi stated professionally.  
“What’s the problem of sleeping naked? I sleep naked too!” Jaal asked Liam curiously but everyone groaned even louder because everyone heard what he said.  
“Jaal, that’s not the point! My point is, there’s a line between pranks and unacceptable gross. Anyone who dared to try will be airlocked.” Scott shouted but clearly every crew member is busy with different levels of groaning. Poor Cora who was sitting at the end of the table, her face turned paleish green.

“Thanks for telling everyone, Scott Ryder.” 

If Reyes patted his back too vigorously,it was both personal and intentional.

Scott was enthusiastic but he’s hardly helping, that’s why Reyes thought he should starts his own investigation. He talked to everyone, asking sly questions and setting traps here and there. Then he got something from Liam. 

This happened during breakfast before they went on a rescue mission on Eos. 

After Reyes told Liam what evidence he found, Liam just shook his head and sighed, “Mr. Scribbles is a good lad, and you both seems to bonding so nicely, seriously i have no idea why he messed - Oh shit! Did I just say that?”

“Yes, you did.” Jaal answered in a deadpan voice.

“Mr. Scribbles?”

“Shit! shit! shit! Ryder is going to skin me - no! Both Ryders will skin me!” Liam grabbed his bowl of Lucky Charms like he’s clutching a lifeline.

“Forget about it, bro!” Liam suddenly stood up and ran with his bowl of Lucky Charms.

Well, at least he got something useful now. Reyes was not sure why someone would choose “Mr. Scribbles” as their code name, but who was he to judge when he’s bearing “Shena” as his?

Code names are nothing fancy, they are terrible.  
Reyes is pretty sure this is something both he and Mr. Scribbles can be agreed on.

“Son, I heard you were looking for Mr. Scribbles.” Drack pulled him aside, “Took you long enough to figure it out.”  
“Maybe I wasn’t looking?”  
“Maybe you are a fool!” Drack laughs, “Don’t you dare to deny it! Vetra told me!”  
“Enlighten me, Drack. Why are we having this conversation? Are you coming to give yourself up? Or urging me to name a price on the prankster’s head?”  
“Save your sass in your saucy ass son,”The old Krogan grinned, showing a mouth of big, blunt teeth, “But i do wonder how much would you pay for it. If the price is good, maybe I will take this one myself.”  
“50 credits? It’s a humiliating sum.”  
“Me? Or Mr. Scribbles?”  
“Both.”  
“No! you are humiliating no one but yourself, Charlatan!” Drack smirked smugly, “You’d better stay out of your smuggling business because you tagged something for 50 credits which I would have given you for 10 credits and a protein bar bwahahaha!”

At last, Reyes did pay Drack 10 credits and a Chili-flavored protein bar for the true identity of who “Mr. Scribbles” was.

When they got back to Tempest, Reyes locked himself with the pyjak in the Tech Lab after removing his armor. The Charlatan was sitting on the ground, with Mr. Scribbles standing on his laps.

“Little One, why did you do that to me?”  
Mr. Scribbles graciously hugged him with a happy squeak.  
“Are you saying you like me?”  
The pyjak started searching his pockets. Reyes rolled his eyes fondly and took out a pack of dried pineapple cubes and fed him one. Mr. Scribbles happily rubbed his head on Reyes chest, the Charlatan couldn’t help but hug him, before Mr. Scribbles agily climbed onto its favorite spot on his shoulder. Reyes slightly lost his balance and crashed onto one of the crates. 

Then someone unlocked the door and rushed in.

“I locked the door.”  
“I thought maybe you hurting Mr. Scribbles…” Scott looked sorry and sheepish.  
“Hurting him? So you knew it was him all along?”  
“I knew it since the first prank he played on you. Where do you think his nickname came from? I even had to have Vetra keep all the markers on lock down, but maybe he secretly stored some.”  
“And you said nothing about it?”  
“I was handling him,” Scott came to his side and sat down. “You know, I even interrogated him and put him in jail after he stole your watch, but you released him.”  
“Ah, so it’s my fault.”  
No, you didn’t know he stole your watch, but it’s not Mr. Scribbles’ fault either, he was just trying to befriend you. I have already told you he likes you.”  
“Let me get this straight, Pathfinder,” Reye pulled out his poker face and his cold, imitating voice, “So you knew Mr. Scribbles did it, the whole crew knew it except me, because you thought I would hurt him if I knew?”  
“You are not wrong...”  
“It seems I’m not only sneaky but also petty to you.” Reyes huffed and stood, peeping at Scott with the corner of his eyes. Ryder’s puppish blue eyes widened with shock, “No! Reyes, I didn’t mean - Where are you going?” Scott raised and caught him by the arm.  
“I’m leaving.”  
“No! There’s a week left! You promised -”  
“Kiss me, now.” 

Ryder obeyed like a good little soldier without second thought.

Reyes bite his earlobe after kissing him, whispering into the pathfinder’s ear, “Put on your jockstraps tonight, after a good round of spanking I will decide whether I’m leaving or staying.”

“Just spanking?” Scott kissed his lip corner, “I thought you would have asked for more.”

But in the end, there’s neither spanking or love making session, as Mr. Scribbles was very determined to sleep between them.

Now the big question is, how would Reyes describe Mr. Scribbles?  
He’s a prankster, a painter, a prisoner, a mark that worth 10 credits and a protein bar, and mostly recently, the unwanted cockblocker.


End file.
